Parenting a child with special needs has all of the features of a chronic stress experience: It creates physical and psychological strain over extended periods of time, is accompanied by high levels of unpredictability and uncontrollability, has the capacity to create secondary stress in multiple areas of life such as professional and family relationships, and frequently requires high levels of hypervigilance.
We are all familiar with the feeling of being so stressed out that we can’t think straight, but imagine if that were your default setting: having to function in high-demand, high stakes situations on a daily basis. Unfortunately, this is the reality for many parents and caregivers of special needs children.
Our immune system does not exist in isolation from daily experience. For example, the immune defences that normally function in healthy people have been shown to be suppressed in caregivers.
When the brain and the immune system are constantly in a suppressed state from stress, many parents of special needs children experience depression, anxiety, PTSD and autoimmune disorders.
If you are a parent of a special needs child who is experiencing less than optimal health and mental well-being and you are reading this, I want you to be gentle with yourself, because it’s not your fault. Your brain and body are responding in the only way they know how. My hope is to give you an alternative solution; one that over time will help you change the blueprint of your brain and nervous system and change the way your body responds to stress.
Thanks to recent advances in neuroscience, we are able to see tangible proof that in as little as 8 weeks, people who have a daily meditation practice are able to shrink the amygdala (the fight/flight/fear center of the brain), and thicken the cerebral cortex (responsible for happiness, love and creative problem solving).
Mediation, it turns out, is quite literally a mind and body changing experience; as the brainstem is responsible for pumping out dopamine and serotonin (chemicals that illicit happiness and relaxation) or cortisol (stress chemicals that cause inflammation in the body).
If you are a parent who is caregiver to a special needs child, I have created Oxygen Mask Mediation, a private online support group that offers free guided mediations, yoga videos, self care tips and support. To join – click here, and begin the process of rewiring your brain and nervous system to better handle chronic stress.
